I feel uneasy and anxious these past few days. Of all the things that has been going on with my existence I just believe like I am in between two forces fraught to have my thoughts and my feelings on their side. I don’t know if I have completed as much as necessary to get relieve of this spiritual set back or if I have even done something about it. At one point, I am much crammed with so much joy and on the other I am being emptied with so much guilt and disgust that drains my core to emptiness. Various moments I prayed my heart out – all my joys and pains I have capitulated, I prayed for other people even more, I prayed for all the plans that I have ever hoped for and even plans that I opted not to deal for. Nevertheless some moments, I give a minute or two to have my feelings drift around, sheering a hardly pokerfaced and vacuous string of petitions and plea. Who am I at this time had I taken a further way out? Who could I be with had I preferred a diverse stride? All I ever wanted was to be HAPPY!!! I never dreamt of having a luxurious life. I just wanted to be happy! I don’t want this pain any longer.
I hand over that I will entrust all to HIM. I am allocating HIM to go through my life and to seize my path. You know better than I do and YOUR plans are more effective than mine. Guide me on the right course. I know YOU will bestow me everything I've been wanting for and YOU will answer all the questions I have inside in YOUR planned time.
For now, I’ll just wait for that, MY DEITY…… MY GOD ….
"Never let the odds keep you from doing what you know in your heart you were meant to do."
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