Thursday, June 24, 2010


I feel uneasy and anxious these past few days. Of all the things that has been going on with my existence I just believe like I am in between two forces fraught to have my thoughts and my feelings on their side. I don’t know if I have completed as much as necessary to get relieve of this spiritual set back or if I have even done something about it. At one point, I am much crammed with so much joy and on the other I am being emptied with so much guilt and disgust that drains my core to emptiness. Various moments I prayed my heart out – all my joys and pains I have capitulated, I prayed for other people even more, I prayed for all the plans that I have ever hoped for and even plans that I opted not to deal for. Nevertheless some moments, I give a minute or two to have my feelings drift around, sheering a hardly pokerfaced and vacuous string of petitions and plea.

Who am I at this time had I taken a further way out? Who could I be with had I preferred a diverse stride? All I ever wanted was to be HAPPY!!! I never dreamt of having a luxurious life. I just wanted to be happy! I don’t want this pain any longer.

I hand over that I will entrust all to HIM. I am allocating HIM to go through my life and to seize my path. You know better than I do and YOUR plans are more effective than mine. Guide me on the right course. I know YOU will bestow me everything I've been wanting for and YOU will answer all the questions I have inside in YOUR planned time.

For now, I’ll just wait for that, MY DEITY…… MY GOD ….

1 comment:

  1. "Never let the odds keep you from doing what you know in your heart you were meant to do."